A Complete Guide To Everyone Staying In Your Hostel

I’ve told you a million times about how much I love a good Hostel. I love the buzz, I love the easy-to-make friendship groups, I love the fact that each Hostel has it’s own unique vibe that has you feeling like you’re stepping in and out of different families, but most of all I just really love that you know exactly the sorts of people you’re going to meet before you even get there which makes you feel all warm inside!


THE PHANTOM BOASTER

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They’re fairly sound to hang out with until they catch their first opportunity to boast about how your holiday to Barcelona was absolutely shit and touristy and that you would never know it as well as they do because they stayed there back in 2012 living that sweet #vanlife for 3 months.

You want to do Everest basecamp? They’ve done it twice… without a tour guide.

Want to tick off Machu Picchu? They’ve already written a book about how they befriended all the Llama’s there!

Fancy celebrating day of the dead for yourself? Facebook them when you get there because they’ve got mates you can stay with and know all the less mainstream places to celebrate it.


THE DUDE THAT KNOWS HOW TO PLAY WONDERWALL AT ANY GIVEN POINT OF THE DAY OR NIGHT

We’ve all met this dude.

Lets not deny that we all love this dude.


THE GUY THAT IS ALWAYS HANGING OUT AT THE HOSTEL BECAUSE HIS FRIENDS WORK THERE

He’s banged pretty much all the single girls that work in that social circle, and is slowly plowing his way through as many guests as he can too.


THE AWESOME COUPLE

When you meet them you’re kinda thinking you could go without the smooching and antisocialness that is about to ensue. It doesn’t take you long to completely change your mind on that one though because they’ve suggested heading to the bar, they’re the most god damn sociable people there and you want to know if there is any way that they’d be willing to adopt you so that you can be with them forever.


THE NOT-SO AWESOME COUPLE

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They’ve been travelling for a while so don’t want to pay for a private. At first you’re like ‘go you and your bad selves.. you’ve gonna be fun!’. Nope. No. Wrong. Incorrect.

They don’t want to talk or hang out with anyone, they may or may not get down and dirty at some point when people are in the room and you’re pretty certain that they hate your guts.


THE PERSON THAT LIVES THERE, WORKS ELSEWHERE AND YOU GENUINELY HAVE NO IDEA HOW THEY STILL HAVE THEIR JOB

This person is great. I’m talking the creme de la creme. They’re probably doing a year working in this place and have some random office job because they had big hopes of doing more than just drinking every night.

The Hostel life sucked them in though and so they live there. They get carried away with the guests pretty much every night and either miss work, turn up late, or turn up super duper hungover.

They sit at work all day with the biggest regret and promises to themselves that they’re not going to do the same thing again tonight, but after making their pasta and settling into their pj’s, they can’t say no to another few bevs with their roomies.


THE PERSON THAT LIVES AND WORKS THERE

You guys are fucking hero’s.

Your livers will always be remembered.


THE TWO EXCITABLE GIRLS TRAVELLING

If I’m being honest, this one is usually the category I fall in; in a hostel.

The girls might be there for a weekend, they might be there for a week. They’re ready to visit literally anywhere you tell them is worth seeing, they want to run down to the Hostel bar and socialise as soon as they’ve dropped off their stuff, they’ll play all the drinking games and join up with other travellers to go and visit places with.

They never quite get round to writing a Trip Advisor review because they get distracted and excited by something else after, but you know that if they did then they would give your Hostel and everything that they spoke to an absolute 5* review.


THE PERSON THAT FUCKING LOVES TECHNOLOGY

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This person has been backpacking for 3 months but is the palest of the paleys!

They’re constantly on Facebook, Whatsapp, checking their emails, watching Netflix, just generally doing anything they possibly can when it comes to technology.

They’re in the chill out area typing away as you leave in the morning, and then they’re there watching Netflix when you get back in the evening. They said that they’ve been out and about adventuring during the day but you’re pretty suspicious about whether they actually have or not.


LADS ON TOUR

They’re either on a Stag, out for a birthday or just on a weekend trip for the sake of being the laddiest lads.

You either think they’re hilarious or wish that they’d crawl back to wherever they came from.

They’re good craic to join in drinking games with, most of them are likely to bring back random conquests and the rest will probably end up vomming or leaving something gross in the dorm room.


THE PERSON THAT NEEDS A GOOD WASH

We’ve all met them, and I’m sorry but if you’re sitting there thinking about the fact that you’re so lucky that you’ve never come across this person then it really might be you, hun.

The person that needs a long soak in the shower usually tends to be pretty damn nice which makes you feel terrible for counting down the seconds that you can breathe sweet fresh air again when you stop chatting to them.


THE HOT MESS

This loveable mess is going to lose their passport, miss their flight, get lost on the way home from a night out and have absolutely no clue where their hostel room is.

But they’re the damn friendliest person and you can’t help but love them.


THE PERSON BUSY FINDING THEMSELVES

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You always find yourself liking this person. You want to hear about whats led them to a point where they feel so lost that only travelling can help. Maybe they’ve just broken up from a partner, left a job that was all too much, ran away from family problems, or maybe they just had no fucking clue who they were to begin with.

To the person finding yourself, I hope you do.

I hope you have the best time travelling and end up feeling more complete and happier than you were before you set off.


THE ANGRY PERSON

They complain over mess, noise, fun and literally anything they can find to complain about. You can’t quite contemplate how they thought staying in a Hostel was the thing for them to do as they act like they deserve the service of a Hotel and think you’re all encroaching on your space.

Dude, chill out, book a private or get the hell out of the Hostel…


 

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