Going out for mid-week drinks.
Your British friend will sigh and say they are only coming out for one or two because they have a meeting first thing in the morning, but end up getting shitfaced and eating a kebab on the side of the road with you at 3am anyway.
Your Aussie friend will hear nothing about work, and tell you to bring your A game to get shitfaced and eat a kebab on the side of the street at 3am.
Terms of affection.
Your British friend will pat you on the back and call you ‘mate’ if they really like you.
Your Aussie friend will slap you in the gut and call you a big fat C word if they really like you.
When skyping your British friend you’re going to have to get some speakers and turn them up to full volume to hear them through their mumbling and general self depreciation.
When skyping your Aussie friend you’ve got to put some headphones on and turn the volume down as much as you can so that your polite British housemates don’t hear them swearing every other word during the conversation.
Your British friend will come out with you on the Friday and then disappear in a pit of hangover hell before rising from the dead again the following week.
Your Aussie friend will be drunk for the entire thing and drag you through hell.
Is always pretty standard with your British friend.
When chatting with your Aussie friend you are going to question everything you ever knew about the English language while you prey to the almighty gods for subtitles to be incorporated into your conversation.
Holidaying with your British friend is going to involve an incessant amount of boozing and the odd cultural activity.
Holidaying with your Aussie friend involves an incessant amount of boozing, followed by another incessant amount of boozing and then wandering around a little bit trying to get the perfect profile picture.
Your British friend is going to avoid eye contact at all costs, start sweating and tell themselves that everything is going to be okay.
Your Aussie friend is pretty good at talking to strangers because they don’t hate themselves or the rest of the world.
Your British friend has perfected it, and you’re constantly wondering whether it really is fine or if they are just thinking about a 1000 ways for you to die.
Your Aussie friend doesn’t know what it is. They are just fine, which kind of makes you feel weird and not know how to react to that because it’s just not normal.
Your British friend is screaming on the sofa next to you when you see a teeny tiny spider walk past you.
Your Aussie friend is throwing you massive shade because that is not what they call a spider.
That little thing called English sun.
Your British friend is taking off as many layers of their clothes as they can and repeating “well, this is pleasant”.
Your Aussie friend is sitting there in a couple of hoodies wondering what they have done to deserve this cold.
You absolutely adore your British friends family and have most likely adopted them for your own.
Same goes for your Aussie friends family, but you probably met them without your friend even being there and discussed different ways for you to move over there and move in with them.
Your British friend is setting up a barbeque in the back garden in the middle of a thunder storm because it’s July.
Your Aussie friend is on the beach chucking a couple of shrimps on the barbie because it’s straya.
The most important life issue of them all.
Your British friend is after a bit of marmite.
Your Aussie friend is wondering what this ‘marmite’ crap that you’re offering them is while hunting for the Vegemite.